"THE BACHELORETTE," "MY TRUTH," AND THE STRUGGLE TO STAY A "HOPEFUL ROMANTIC"

REAL TALK:

After watching the season finale of "The Bachelorette," I'm feeling a smidge "chatty" and feel like sharing a little bit of my truth . . . 💗😊

Over the years I've had to fight the urge to become cynical when it comes to the topic of love, because in "My Story" no guy has ever made me feel like I am worth fighting for. 

And . . . Goodness, part of me hates to admit it, but that's all I've ever wanted since I was like fourteen-years-old . . . I've longed for the desire of my affection to return those feelings and fight to keep me in his life. Even if it's difficult, or complicated . . .

I'm finally beginning to see and understand my own value and worth, however, I have also longed for (and intensely hoped) that someone else would see it as well. If I'm being truly, truly honest . . . I probably wouldn't even know what to do if someone I wanted ACTUALLY wanted me back. I've become so used to guys just walking away, or saying that I am "too much" or "not enough" for them (and that has become "My Story"), that I don't even know what I would do if someone I wanted chose to NOT walk away for once, and DID actually want me back.

I'm the type of girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Figuratively speaking, but literally as well. I have a small mole on the back of my arm (right around the area where the sleeve of a T-shirt would end) that looks like a heart (it does to me, anyway). 

My heart is BIG. I can't help but love. I don't open my heart to many people in general, but especially not to many guys. So, if I do, it means something. It means a lot, actually . . . 💗💗

Whenever I'm watching a show like "The Bachelorette," or "The Bachelor," or a television show, or film, and there is a "swoon-worthy" moment showing two people finding each other and expressing their love, I just can't help but get caught up in the moment and the emotion and daydream about experiencing that kind of love in my own life—no matter how hard I try to fight it. For that mere moment, all the cynicism washes away and I am once again a "hopeful romantic." I just can't shake it no matter how much I try.

Sometimes I want to be all dark and twisty when it comes to love, but the truth is . . . That cynicism is just covering up the hurt and suffering I've felt from all the rejection. I truly prefer being the "hopeful romantic" full of optimism and believing in ✨ mAgiC ✨ . . . It's just that sometimes, the loneliness weighs heavy on my heart. In the end, that wide-eyed "hopeful" nature tends to win out, however, I must confess that as the days, months, and years tick on, it does become a touch difficult to believe that a "great love" is part of "My Story." 

Not everyone gets the "Fairytale Happily Ever After" ending—no matter how much you long for it. Sometimes you have to create your own "Happily Ever After"—and that doesn't always include someone else to share it with . . . 💗💗