Every year around this time, I get a bit contemplative . . . 🤔ðŸ§
With another new year around the corner and my 🦄🎂 BiRtHdAy 🎂🦄 in less than a month (January 4th), anxieties begin to surge and an intermittent existential crisis devours me . . .
I struggle with not being where I want to be yet in life—that my ideal "dream" has yet to manifest; I fear being forgettable and stress about who will forget me when my BiRtHdAy rolls around, being disappointed when I don't hear from those I am hoping to hear from; and I struggle with the desire to do something fUn on my BiRtHdAy, but not having anyone to share it with—and now with the pandemic, that seems even less possible than usual . . .
It's a day where I just want to feel like I matter (especially to certain people who matter to me), and always struggle with whether I do or not . . .
SO WISHING I could just turn my brain off and not hold so much weight regarding my BiRtHdAy, but it is STILL the one day of the year that I haven't been able to release from my mental grasp . . . 😕😢
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