LONGING TO LOVE

REAL TALK:

I have spent most (if not ALL) of my life trying to embrace and understand my worth, especially when it comes to guys. I have either "never felt good enough," or "felt like I was too much."

It's been a heartbreaking journey.

Especially because I keep getting "walked away from" as soon as I bravely open my heart and become vulnerable. 

It has sent me "back into my shell" more times than I can count. 

I am a strong, independent woman with goals and dreams, and at the same time, all I have ever wanted since I was fourteen-years-old is to be "someone's girl" . . . To love someone with my WHOLE HEART, and experience that love in return. 

Embarrassingly, I have allowed myself to accept crumbs or scraps when I have liked someone because my heart cared too much. My big, open, loving heart, cared and just wanted to make "him" feel like "he" mattered. 

The sad thing is that I have always been willing to "fight" for whomever my heart longed for, but no guy I have cared for has ever been willing to "fight" for me. None ("up until now" . . . I'm doing some SERIOUS self-work these days and learning to add this phrase to my vocabulary . . .) have ever made me feel like I was a priority or "worth the fight." It was always just easier for them to walk away. 

The story I have been telling myself all these years is that I am worthless, forgettable, unlovable, not good enough. 

I am trying to shed those beliefs. 

My heart knows these aren't true assessments, however, my mind is searching for some answer as to why they keep walking away and understand why having me in their life isn't "worth the fight." 

I am beginning to realize that someone walking away from me doesn't lessen my worth. Sure, it hurts. A LOT. But, my worth isn't tied to some guy's choice to walk away. Or, even a friend, for that matter.

I know the immense love I have to offer. And that is ALL that truly matters.

I know my worth. I know my heart. I know the depths of love I have to share.

I am a 🦄 ^Unicorn^ 🦄 . . .

I AM A F*CKING 🦄 ^Unicorn^ 🦄!!!!

And . . . Who doesn't want a 🦄 ^Unicorn^ 🦄????!!!! 🤣🤣